Gorgeous
by RubyRye
Summary: Katniss does't want Peeta. Honest... AU modern setting. One shot.


**Full disclaimer, I am not Suzanne Collins and definitely don't own the Hunger Games. I'm also not Taylor Swift and all lyrics within this fic from a certain song which inspired it (clues in the title) belong entirely to her. This is my first fan fic so please be kind. Rated M because Katniss has a potty mouth and I'm not sure where the F word sits. All mistakes are mine.**

"Fuck you too" I yell and hurl my phone full force into the soft pillow on my bed. I'm seriously angry but I'm also seriously poor and can't afford to break it.

I've been dating Cato on and off for months, more off than on, and I know there's no future in it, but the sex is okay, we have fun when it's just the two of us and thankfully he's not into PDA's. Unfortunately he's a dick when he's with his work collegues and has just blown me off to hang out with them at District One, a new club that's recently opened. I really should stop seeing him but dating him means I have an excuse if anyone tries to hit on me and gives me someone to go to parties with.

We were supposed to be heading to a beach party that his friend Glimmer is holding and while I don't like her much, her parents house is amazing and the view is worth a few hours of her vapid conversation. Marvel seems to have won out instead though, he's probably got some drugs, something that I'm not into but Cato increasingly is. I definitely have to end things with him.

I'm dressed for the party so decide to head to The Seam where my friends will be hanging out. It's a 15 minute walk but I need to blow off some steam so I shove my headphones in and crank up the volume on my music.

Five minutes into my walk it starts to rain. Also I probably shouldn't have gone for angry girl music, so I'm even more annoyed by the time I arrive at the bar. I hurl the door open, stomp over to the bar and order a whiskey on ice from an indifferent Haymitch.

I'm desperately anticipating the burn of the whiskey that Haymitch is just tipping his hand to pour when a man's voice shouts "belay that order captain".

I turn and deliver my best scowl to the voices owner and, as always, he completely ignores my annoyance, grins and bearhugs me.

"You know I don't like anyone touching me Finnick" I complain as I push him off "and why the hell did you stop Haymitch from getting my drink?"

"I've invented a new drink," brags Finnick. "Dear barkeep, please give me seven sunsets."

There is a pause while Haymitch gives Finnick a look that defies description.

"Seven? Who has Jo entrapped this time?" I snicker.

"Oh Kitty Kat, " Finnick smirks as I scowl at his nickname, "it's so much better than that, guess who's back in town." He turns me round and flourishes his arm towards the table. I squint over, right as Peeta Mellark of all people looks straight at me. I gape at him as Finnick yells "Hey Peeta, look what the cat dragged in!"

Oh shit, I think as a 'definitely filled out in all the right places and adulting in all kinds of glorious ways' Peeta, smiles and gets up to join us.

So here's the record scratch flashback on me and Peeta.

He was always sort of around at school and he hung out with Finnick, Madge and the other beautiful people. I was a scrawny loner type, particularly after my father died and things got difficult at home. I hung out with Gale outside school, as our families were close, but he's a year older than I am.

We didn't have much money and my mom wasn't doing well after my dad died, so I was skipping meals to make sure my little sister Prim didn't go without. It was getting to me, I lost weight and it was really difficult to find the energy to get through a day of school and my after school job.

One day Peeta approached me, full of nerves and asked me to do him a favor. He said he had joined the wrestling team and needed to bulk up his muscles, so couldn't keep eating the bag of carbs he got everyday from his parents who owned the town bakery. He wanted to get rid of some cookies, and he'd noticed my sister Prim always looked at them through the bakery window, so could I give them to her as he couldn't bear to throw them away. I was too exhausted to come up with a reason to say no, so I took the bag he held out, mumbled something about not being late for work and headed for the exit.

I checked the bag as soon as I got outside and found four beautifully iced cookies, one with a Primrose, one with a Katniss flower and two with dandelions. Feeling embarrassed, I shoved the Katniss one in my mouth and then had to sit down for a moment as the rich, buttery taste exploded across my tongue. The boost from the cookie got me through work, and that evening, as Prim delightedly hoovered up the rest, the dandelion ones started me thinking and I remembered my father's herbs and foraging book. I took that book out into the woods that weekend and found a surprising amount of food. I proudly took it home and somehow the sight of me trying to source food from the woods knocked my mother out of her grief induced torpor and she went back to her job as a nurse. We were still poor but at least there was enough to eat from then on.

Long story short, I owe Peeta and I never properly thanked him. I meant to but it never seemed the right time. But I never forgot.

Most people left for college, including Peeta, but Finnick is an orphan and his gran couldn't afford his tuition, Madge didn't want to leave her sick mom and Gale and I both went straight into work, so we all started hanging out by default. Finnick began dating Annie and she brought her housemate Jo along and we've been a group ever since.

Back in the present, I realise Peeta has said something I didn't catch and is now waiting for a reply. "Uh, hi" is the only response I manage. He has the most ridiculously blue eyes and they are oddly mesmorising.

Finnick somehow sweet talks Haymitch into making his drink and hands us both a couple to carry back to the table, where he insists we all try them together. I smirk at Gale whose face at having to drink Finnick's concoction is similar to Haymitch's at having to make it. At least the drink will distract me from the buzz I feel where my leg is touching Peeta's as we sit cramped together in the booth. On Finnick's command everyone takes a mouthful of the drink and only three of us manage not to spit it out. Even Finnick looks disgusted, followed by downheartened.

"I thought I knew the recipe," he mumbles as Annie strokes his arm to console him. Peeta is sniffing his drink and even takes a second sip. His face lights up and his grin is beautiful, sorry I mean surprising, "I know what this needs", he chortles and heads to the bar. I'm definitely not now completely aware of how his leg isn't touching mine and I absolutely do not miss it.

Haymitch manages to look even more annoyed at Peeta's request and stomps over to the fridge. He roots around in the back and pulls out a bottle. Peeta pays and comes back over.

We all look suspiciously at the bottle of fizzy wine he's holding. Gale makes a disdainful noise but Peeta just flashes another devestating, I mean dashing, I mean he smiles just like any normal person would do, and tops up the drinks. We all take another tentative sip and it's so much better, totally transformed. Finnick and Peeta white boy high five each other to an eye roll from Jo, and Peeta declares the new drink a sunset and vine.

Peeta is back for good, he's returned to help at the bakery after his dad had an accident and suffered a burn which isn't healing well.

I break up with Cato the next day.

Kpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkpkp

Peeta easily becomes part of the group and regularly joins us at The Seam. Somehow we always end up sitting next to each other, legs touching. I have never been so aware of someone in my life. I find myself watching him when I think he's not looking. How can anyone have eyelashes that long without them tangling together? Gorgeous. The word springs into my head and I choke on my drink. Those endlessly blue eyes look at me with concern as I have a coughing fit which includes plenty of dribble. Great, just great I think as clean myself up.

"Okay people," Joanna hollers, slamming her glass on the table and slopping some of her sunset and vine onto Finnick. He lifts his hand and lazily licks it off, lavishing it with his tongue where it runs down his arm while winking at Madge, who throws her beer mat at him. Gale huffs a bit and tells Finnick to knock it off.

"We should play a game" continues Joanna to universal groans, "truth or dare" she announces. Everyone shuffles a bit, but no-one says no and Joanna takes that as a sign to continue. "Katniss," she points at me, "truth or dare."

I try to weigh up how drunk she is and how much I want to answer awkward truth questions in front of Peeta. "Dare" I reply thinking it can't be that bad.

"Kiss Peeta Mellark" she cackles "on the lips" she adds in case there was any doubt.

Damn it.

"Ooh interesting" smirks Finnick and begins chanting "kiss, kiss, kiss." He's soon joined in his chorus by Annie, Joanna and Madge.

"Come on brainless" yells Jo "that asshat Cato can't be the last boy you kissed." The others keep up the chant.

"Fine" I snarl, just to shut them up and turn to face Peeta, who has what can only be described as a look of fear in his eyes.

"Afraid of me Mellark" I spit, furious that he's not happier about this, and that I'm about to do the one thing I've been trying endlessly not to think about.

"Always" he sighs, bringing his hand up to my cheek and slowly leaning towards me.

My cheek burns where he touches it and my eyes flutter closed. I can feel his breath on my face but just as his lips are about to brush mine a loud "whoo" resonates around the table. I snap my head back, ready to yell at them all only to realise they are looking at Gale and Madge who have their lips locked together in a passionate kiss. It's all a bit too much for me and I instinctively struggle over Annie, out of the booth and bolt for the door.

I can't work out how Peeta and I end up sitting on the fire escape together, pressed close on the steps, the handrail digging painfully into the top of my shoulder as I lean desperately away so our arms don't quite touch. My heart's racing like I've sprinted flat out to get here as I battle against myself. I need to leave but I can't bring myself to move and the urge to do something, to run my hand through the blonde waves of his hair, to feel his arms round me, to finally kiss his stupid face is overwhelming me.

Then he does it. The worst best thing possible, he fixes me with one of his soul searching stares. Ocean blue eyes looking in mine. I feel like I might sink and drown and die.

"That must have been hard for you," he murmours, "having that happen in front of everyone."

"You too" I reply, thinking he means our almost kiss.

"Katniss it's not like that for me," he sighs

Bile rises up in my throat as I realise he's trying to let me down gently. I desperately consider my options. Moving out of the state seems like the best one.

"Madge is just my friend, there has never been anything like that between us"

Wait, what?

"and I've never wanted there to be. But for you, seeing Gale kissing her like that, I can understand why you needed to get away and I don't mean to intrude but it seemed like you might need a friend."

"Are we friends?" I blurt out. In my head I hear my sister's voice scream 'that's what you took from that'.

"I hope so" he says, giving me one of his most gorgeous smiles. "Come on," he grabs my hand and pulls me up "let's hit the bar."

He leads me back inside and for a moment I think I would follow him anywhere. I mentally slap myself for being such a sap. "Get it together Katniss" I grind out between clenched teeth.

"What?" he turns, half catching what I said. "Umm nothing" I stutter. He flashes another of those beautiful grins that light up his whole face. My knees give a little and I stumble. Naturally he catches me. I have one of those rare moments where a movie cliche happens to you in real life and for a second, in his arms, my emotions calm and I'm finally ready for our first kiss.

"Whoops" he says like I'm five and sets me back upright as he turns to the bar. I'm so furious at him for making me feel this way. But what can I say.

"Whisky on ice, sunset and vine" he orders. You've ruined my life by not being mine, I think.

He gives me my whisky and takes my other hand in his again as I trail him back to the table. We shuffle back into the booth next to each other. Madge looks sad and Gale looks annoyed, I'm not sure what happened while we were gone. Part of me thinks I should try to find out as they're my friends, but it's not my strong point. I notice I have Peeta's hand in a death grip and I can't seem to let go.

Peeta, being a considerably better person than I am, asks Madge about her music, a subject which never fails to engage her. He's so genuine in his interest that she regains her smile as she chats about her recital.

His kindness does something weird to my heart.

Peeta, sensing my tension begins to run his thumb gently over my fingers. A sigh escapes me. He's so gorgeous it makes me so mad.

We stay like that for a bit, him chatting casually to Madge as he strokes my hand under the table. I'm getting so turned on by the feel of his thumb brushing rhythmically back and forth that I enter some sort of trance. I'm rudely awoken by Finnick snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"Earth to Katniss" he laughs, "we're heading home". He and Annie stand and he sort of tucks her under his arm. Jo decides they should give her a ride home too and they all head out together.

Madge, Gale, Peeta and I all stare at each other for a moment. Peeta lifts our joined hands up onto the table and I really should let go but I can't seem to make my fingers move, if anything I clutch him tighter. Gale grimaces and grabs Madge, yanking her up. "Bye" he says without looking at us and they head out of the bar.

I really need to let go of Peeta. He looks at our hands.

"Guess I'll just stumble on home to my cats" I mutter bitterly. Technically Buttercup and Lady are Prim's but I'm not up for detail in my misery. Alone, I think as Prim's living in dorms now and my mom's working nights. "Unless you wanna come along." We're both equally surprised when I say that. Peeta recovers first. "Sure," he smiles, but I can feel the sympathy in it.

I still haven't managed to let go of Peeta's hand as we leave the bar together. Haymitch notices and quirks an eyebrow at us as we go. He gets a shy smile from Peeta and a scowl from me in response.

"Um it's a bit of a walk," I stutter. Peeta just grins and falls into step with me. It's a beautiful evening and he tells me the radiant orange in the sunset is his favourite colour. I manage to channel some of his way with words and tell him mine is the green of the leaves on my favourite tree in the woods after it's rained. It's by far the most elegant thing that has ever come out of my mouth, so my brain decides it's done more than enough for one day and I go back to awkward one word responses to everything else he says. Happily it doesn't seem to bother Peeta and he chats away for the rest of our walk.

I drop my keys as I let us in, because he is standing so close to me. As I crouch down to get them I manage to find myself eye level with his crotch, which flusters me so much I drop them again and swear. He bends down, picks them up himself and gently gives them to me.

I get it together enough to let us in and am greeted by loud yelling, or meowing as people who don't know better call it. Buttercup, my least favourite of Prim's cats is indignant that his evening feed is so late. I give Peeta an apologetic shrug and we follow Buttercup to his empty bowl in the kitchen.

I find the can of cat food and the can opener as Peeta leans against a cupboard. I'm so distracted by him, that I don't pay enough attention to the way Buttercup is twining round my feet and half step on him as I finish opening the can. He gives an enormous yowl and pelts out of the kitchen as I stumble and cut my finger on the can lid.

"Fuck, fuck, goddam cat" I yell. So much for Peeta seeing me as someone who is kind and nurturing towards small animals. He takes my hand and leads me to the sink to run my finger under the tap. It's a small cut and stops bleeding quickly. He raises my sore finger to his lips and blows gently. The feeling of it goes up my arm and splits in two with one half heading straight to my groin and the other shooting north to my head and making my brain go fuzzy.

We stare at each other for a moment and I can't take it any more. I do the only thing I possibly can which is to lean in to kiss him.

"Katniss" he says as he swallows and steps back, "I know you've had a tough evening seeing Gale kiss Madge, but please don't feel you have to do this."

My brain is struggling to process what just happened and it takes a moment for the Gale and Madge bit to filter through the devestating rejection bit. My brain catches up just after Peeta finishes saying that he will be here for me no matter what, so my response to his heartfelt "always" at the end, is to yell "NO" in his face.

He looks shocked and hurt, unhelpfully my brain short circuits even more at the horror of the situation, and makes a very confused attempt to tell him that I was saying no to caring that Gale kissed Madge. Unfortunately it skips the key explanatory bit and I just yell "NO" at him again.

Peeta backs away, which is the last thing I want, so a third "NO" trumpets its way out of my mouth.

He starts to fumble an apologetic goodbye and head for the door. At this point my conscious brain gives up completely and passes full control over to my emotional monkey brain which decides more shouting is the best option. "Gale has gray eyes" it yells.

Peeta gives me a rueful smile and carries on leaving. He's almost made it to the door, his hand raised towards the handle when I manage to choke out "I like blue ones." Peeta pauses hand frozen. "You have blue eyes," I add helpfully.

Finally he turns round. We stare at each other for a moment. I'm sucking in huge gulps of air and can feel my hands shaking. "Gale is like family, I've never felt any other way about him." I croak.

Peeta gazes at me and all I see is ocean blue. It clears my head and gives me the courage to finally say "I want you."

He takes a deep breath then walks over and cups my face in his hands. His eyes search mine and he must see whatever it is he's looking for. "I've always wanted you" he whispers then kisses me.

It's beyond anything I had imagined.

I definitely don't have the words to describe what happens next.


End file.
